Today

This morning my family and I did something I've been talking about doing for a few years. We went to church. We attended my friend Jonna's church, Oak Grove Baptist. To say the least, I was nervous. I know I should not have been, but I was. I was worried that my lack of knowledge of the Bible would make me stand out. I was afraid I would be literally lost in the sermon. I hate being "the new person" and didn't like the thought of that. I worried how Shaylie and Nevaeh would behave being as they've never been to church before. I was just a big worried MESS.

And now, I can sit here and say all the worry was for nothing. The Pastor and the other members of the church were so welcoming. I found that I was able to understand and enjoy the service. And as the Pastor was giving his sermon and speaking of people being saved, I began to wonder if I was saved. I know this is something that I should know. Not something I should question. But I didn't know for sure...and then almost as if he knew I was wondering he went on to tell about when he was saved. During a time in his life when he felt he had not much to live for and the hurt was so strong, he was saved and a sense of peace filled him and he knew that it was only the power of the Lord who could cure a hurt this deep. He said his life looked brighter and he was able to move on and really live his life. That is when I KNEW that I had been saved. A few months back, as I blogged about previously, when the hurt of my lost pregnancy had consumed my life and I was in such a deep dark hole, God pulled me out. It was right after I began reading a Devotional Bible for Moms, and began praying, that the pain started to ease and life looked brighter. I remember it not being a sudden change, but a gradual process where the depression was replaced with a sense of peace. Did I know at that time who or what had caused this? No, but now after hearing the sermon today, my first day of going to church, I knew who had given me this new life. Now, I know I never was really alone during that those dark dark times. God was there, I was just too blind to see it.

Now though, I was to see His blessings, and I do. I see them all around me. I enjoyed my experience in church this morning and I look forward to going again next Sunday. I look forward to learning more about my spirituality. Shaylie and Nevaeh enjoyed church also. They attended Children's Church and were very excited to tell me all about what they had learned. Shaylie asked "Can we go to church again Mommy?"

Yes. We can, and YES we will!